Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
