Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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