I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
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Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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