Your tits are I can't wait for
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize