3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
