how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not