She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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