I feel great
I just peed on a car
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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