idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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