weddingsv make me drug and hornr
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
This is the high leading the old right now
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize
