Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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