I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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