i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I see more hoeing in ur future
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