if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize