i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize