then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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