her vagine was all disorganized.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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