He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
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