I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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