Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
