BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
