Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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