My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
