just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My pussy is not your playground.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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