she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize