Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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