office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
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I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
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I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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