question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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