I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
How's work?
Spinning.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
