Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i think i have two assholes
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize