a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
