Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Randomize
