Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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