In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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