There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
they need to just BURY HIM!
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
