You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Please, let me fuck your mom
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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