we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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