So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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