Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
