Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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