I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Two words: blizzard sex
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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