life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
