it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I love you. Go after that dick
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize