I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
The best revenge is premature balding
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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