my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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