He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We don't watch enough power rangers
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
