If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Did I show you my penis last night?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Randomize
