i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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