I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
