found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize