How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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