and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
