ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
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